The Manosphere Killed PUA

It’s been years and I still can’t draw my attention away from the nutty manosphere. I’ve written articles here, comments elsewhere, posts on discussion forums, questions wherever I could.

I enjoy making fun of manosphere and MRM slash MRA guys partly because I simply don’t understand them. I’ll admit it. I simply don’t understand where all that emotion comes from.

Sure, there are issues that need to be tweaked in society — any society, including ours. And if you get screwed by the system I could see how you’d be bitter. In that case, I’d recommend seeing a professional therapist. For reals.

But it seems that most manosphere guys have never been cheated on, taken to the cleaners in a divorce, been falsely accused of rape, lost a job to some sort of feminist affirmative action, or anything like that.

I just don’t get the bitterness against the system and against women. And lately, it seems, the manosphere has fully embraced the white nationalist segment of its population and become quite racist too. HBD, indeed. You’re looking at a guy who not only read “The Bell Curve” — yes, the entire thing — but also read an entire critique of it. And a critique of the critique.

So is the manosphere just Conservatism applied to male-female relations? Maybe. I’m not sure. But it seems that the vast majority of manosphere bloggers are White, Christian, American or British, and young. Very young men.

I saw a poll showing that something like 80% of the manosphere was age 17-20!? Others said that there was a problem with the poll but, if it’s true, then the manosphere is made up by a bunch of boys who aren’t even old enough to drink alcohol or rent a car (probably a good thing).

Which brings me to PUA. (Or “pickup” as we used to call it back in the ’90s, or “the seduction community” when it was on As I’ve said before, a PUA was a guy who was really good at PU. PUA was not a thing.)

Anyway, as I’ve also said before, back in the day, “PUA” was about seducing chicks. That’s it. A kid found out about it when his girlfriend dumped him and he wanted to see what went wrong and started searching around the primitve ‘net for it. In “Speed Seduction,” Ross Jeffries used to teach about “eliciting values” from each woman you meet so you could tailor your seduction technique to that particular woman. While there were some general concepts that could be applied to most women, the idea was that everybody is different and had to be treated as such if you wanted to be successful.

These days, when a young kid is dumped by his girlfriend and makes the same internet search that I did back in 1996, he’s not greeted with “seduction techniques” to help him improve his love-life as much as he’s inundated with a massive wave of political diatribes condemning everything from feminism to multiculturalism to socialism and everything in between. Instead of being taught how to address his individual problem, he’s recruited into a swirling morass of radicalized and highly politicized propaganda against, basically, the current state of Western culture itself.

I imagine it’s something along the lines of what happens to young Muslim men. They might have some innocuous question about, say, the hair color of the virgins awaiting them in heaven or something. So they do an internet search and their question immediately leads them to radical Islamic propaganda which — if they breathe too much in — will gradually convert them into vicious tools of that propaganda.

Maybe that’s why the manosphere is so confusing and fascinating to me. Back in the day when I wanted to read about picking up chicks, I didn’t have to wade through a bunch of KKK and pro-rape commentary to do it.

But maybe it’s the new normal. And if that’s the case, then PUA is dead. Because if young men don’t want to change themselves but instead want to sit around writing articles about taking society back to the 19th century when women couldn’t vote… well.. those guys aren’t going to be out in the bars and clubs mackin’ on too many broads.

Shitty love life –> internet search –> seduction techniques –> meet women –> sex

Shitty love life –> internet search –> MRA propaganda –> write angry blog posts –> ???

Which is not to say that the manosphere doesn’t bring up some good points. For example, the concept of women “hitting the wall” when they reach a certain age. This is true. Although it’s a more gradual decline than a wall. Radical feminists might not want people to believe it, but men are 90% interested in women because of their looks. Sorry, it’s true.

But the enthusiasm and thinly veiled shadenfreude with which the manosphere presents the concept is clearly backed by hatred and viciousness. It’s one thing to say, “Guys, understand that a woman’s looks will usually fade fast.” It’s another thing to write post after post after post about it. We’re not stupid, we got it the first time.

I guess you could say that the manosphere has a collective case of Borderline Personality Disorder (DSM-V be damned). “I hate you, don’t leave me,” the manosphere says to women. “You’re evil, why don’t you like me?”

To carry the analogy further, manosphere bloggers involve themselves in “splitting,” or black-and-white thinking. All women supposedly want the same things and have the same urges. They all lose their looks at precisely the same age. They’re all the same level of emotional and irrational. The opposite of men, of course, who are also all the same as each other. Or at least we should be but for the fact that we’ve all been “feminized.” Etc.

I’ve learned in my lifetime that people who make broad-brush statements about a topic usually have very little experience with the topic of which they speak.

So instead of being presented with stuff like Speed Seduction and even to a lesser extent Mystery Method and RSD — which address individual issues and teach young men to at least kinda see each woman as a unique person worthy of some basic human respect — modern internet “dating advice” instead presents guys with radical, all-or-nothing thinking that demonizes women, blacks, gays, liberals, “sluts,” and most of the entirety of the contemporary Western world.

And the solution that the manosphere apparently proposes for society’s ills is of course utterly impossible: a return to “the patriarchy” of centuries past. Sorry, that just ain’t gonna happen. We’re more likely to return to riding in covered wagons.

So you get a bunch of teenage boys searching for ways to avoid heartbreak and they’re shunted into a weird, dogmatic cyber-world where women and society itself are the enemy and the only solution is so untenable as to be absurd. I can’t imagine the fear and despair that goes through their minds. All I can say is that I’m glad I’m not a teenage boy anymore.

The next question I’m asking is… How did things get to this point?

Hugo Schwyzer, a manosphere hero?

A year and a half or so after the meltdown, I don’t see why the manosphere still hates Hugo Schwyzer so much.

The guy talked his way into the inner Feminist sanctum, used his influence there to bang a whole lot of (probably young) chicks, and then, like Samson, pushed over the pillars supporting the structure, bringing it down and wiping himself out in the process.

The man should be thanked.  Nobody took what he wrote about Feminism seriously anyway.  His stuff was too perfect and too obvious — too much like something someone would write while asking himself, “What can I say to make them think I’m one of them?”  Nobody who has ears to hear could have thought he was the real deal.  Except those who were crushed in the collapsing temple, I guess.

Sperm Competition as the Result of Ancient Gang Rapes

I’m endlessly interested in sociology and especially the sociology of sex.  Lately I was reading for the umpteenth time about “sperm competition” – the evolved nature of a man’s body to produce different types and different amounts of sperm when the possibility arises that he will be having sex with a woman who may have had recent sex with other men.

Sperm competition also involves the shape of the penis in delivering that sperm.  Specifically, the glans has evolved into a sort-of barbed, mushroom shape to remove male competitors’ sperm from the vaginal canal.  And of course there’s the fact that men have relatively large penises as compared to other primates.

The terms which sociologists frequently use to refer to the above are “anti-cuckoldry” tactics, prevention against “female infidelity,” women’s “extra-pair coupling,” “double mating,” and things like that.  All of these terms and ideas presume womens’ agency in becoming impregnated by “rival sperm.”  That is, it’s the female’s behavior and willpower that the man has evolved to counter because she is the one “allowing” other men’s sperm inside her body.

Buss is, of course, frequently cited as he seems to be the “go-to” guy regarding paternal uncertainty.  He ascribes, at every turn, “female choice” and “sexual selection” to sperm competition. Even the titles of most books on the subject ascribe female agency to it (for example, “Female Infidelity and Paternal Uncertainty: Evolutionary Perspectives on Male Anti-Cuckoldry Tactics” by Steven M. Platek, Todd K. Shackelford (2006)).  Granted, Shackelford does make passing mention of it in another one of his books.

But, in all my readings about this topic, I have very, very rarely seen an author refer to historical wartime gang rape as being relevant to sperm competition and male sexual evolution.

Perhaps it’s too upsetting, or perhaps modern man is so used to the concept of women choosing to do what they want with their bodies that the idea never even enters authors’ heads.  Or perhaps they just don’t know their history.

However, it’s quite clear that many, many extra-marital offspring were produced not through infidelity on women’s part but due to the sacking of ancient cities and the vast, weeks-long orgies that accompanied those events.

While the thought of it is quite abhorrent to modern man, the reality is that the destruction of towns, the killing of men and boys, the gang-rapes and slavery of women were all pretty common and even an accepted part of life a couple/few thousand years ago.  It happened all the damn time, to put it bluntly.

Look at Babylon, look at Assyria, look at any ancient people.  Chances are they decimated, or were decimated by, some other rival state at least once in their history.  The sheer number of current family lineages that could be traced back to some ancient solider would likely be mind-blowing.

So it’s at least as likely, and in my opinion even more so, that men evolved those specific sexual “anti-competition” traits because victorious soldiers were genetically “competing” against dozens, if not hundreds, if not thousands of other soldiers who had also inseminated conquered women in the frenzy which occurred during the rape and pillage of a defeated town.

I think that to fail to acknowledge this likely fact is disingenuous.  The question is, why is it not acknowledged?

It could be the case that male authors don’t want to acknowledge it because it paints historical men in a bad light (as rapists).  And it could be that female authors don’t want to acknowledge it because of the disturbing idea that, for most of human history, women had very little “agency” or choice about the genetic makeup of their offspring. Therefore the concept of sexual selection – at least as it pertains to female choice – plays a greatly reduced role than previously thought in human evolution through the ages.

The “Men’s Rights Movement” should be called the “Beta Power Movement”

Because they’re all weak betas and can’t change with the changing sexual landscape.

Here’s a few recent quotes from The Rational Male blog:

“I remembered then an older man I had done some peer counseling with while in college and how this man had essentially striven his entire life to please and content his ex-wife and his now second wife of more than 30 years.”

That’s fuckin’ sad.

“This is why I say men are the True Romantics, because the overwhelming majority will devote a lifetime to the effort of actualizing a belief in a male-idealized love to find fulfillment in a woman and for that woman.”

That’s really fuckin’ sad.

“As soon as I would ‘fall in love’ I would slowly drop those activities, I’d focus on being a good bf, I would focus on providing and ‘being what she wanted’ what I thought she wanted, better said.”

That’s beyond fuckin’ sad.

“Is this what Rollo means when he says our response to women is a conditioning, and that the sadness we get from Red Pill truth is the result of behaving and believing something that is not really our nature, but the result of having someone else’s behaviors and beliefs installed into us?”

No, here’s why you feel so “sad” when you realize that chicks dig jerks: You realize that you’re a big fuckin’ pansy and you always will be. You’re a momma’s boy and you’ve just realized there ain’t no more mommas for you. That’s what’s making you “sad,” bud. You’ve realized that your boring beta self ain’t gonna cut it, and at the same time you’ve realized that you are incapable of being anything else.

Hey, nothing wrong with that. But just go. Don’t bitch about it. Don’t whine about it. Just… go.

People think I dislike men or that I’m against male empowerment. I’m not. There’s a “Dad’s Legal Center” or whatever it’s called not far from my office and I presume it’s a law firm which fights legal battles for men. That’s great and I fully support that. I think the world needs more of those, in fact. What I like about it is that those guys are actually doing something to effect change and help other guys out.

Not so, the MRA dorks. What I can’t stand are pathetic little whiners who go on and on about how “women these days just can’t understand” what wonderful and sweet dudes they are. Because chicks don’t find them desirable, therefore chicks (and society, and politics, and the media, etc) are all BAD. It’s not the dude himself, no. Of course not. It’s the rest of the world.

Admittedly, these loons would have had a better time getting laid in 1950 and before. Then, women had to look past shitty, boring, whiner personalities and go for the money — ie, the provider males. As long as these dudes could earn a buck, they could be as annoying as they naturally are and they’d still get at least a bit of action.

Look, it’s fine to wake up one day and realize you’re a weak-ass chump. Lots of guys do it. The key difference is that you should start effecting change at a rather rapid pace once that realization has dick-slapped you across the face. If you’re still a bitter beta a year later, or heaven forbid 2, 3, 5, 10 years later… you ain’t ever gonna change. You are a permanent beta chump living in a world that no longer has any respect or need for beta chumps.

If that’s the case, quit blogging. Quit whining. Accept yourself and move to Alaska to be alone and enjoy the beautiful scenery there. I’m waiting for the day when MGTOW truly and permanently GTOW rather than just threaten to.

Just admit you’re a wimp, Rollo Tomassi

Though I link to some here, I rarely read MRA blogs like Rational Male and Heartiste because I simply can’t stand all the pathetic whining. It embarrasses me. But sometimes when I’m in a masochistic mood I’ll read a page or two.

Here’s one that made me laugh:

His theory is that, if it weren’t for all the mean women out there who like bad boys, all (or most) guys would be sweet and wonderful and enjoy providing for women and writing poetry and buying them flowers and shit.

In short, if women would only let them, men would naturally be as caring and thoroughly pussified as, no doubt, Rollo Tomassi himself is.

“With the notable exceptions of natural born Alphas, I believe most men would overwhelmingly default to being compassionate, empathic souls, steeped in romantic notions of chivalry, dedication and honor.”

Bahahah that’s ridiculous. I have no interest in chivalry, dedication or honor and I never have. That doesn’t make me a “natural born alpha,” it makes me a natural born asshole. How many chump-ass motherfuckers would naturally gravitate to “romantic notions of chivalry?” Fucking castrated ones, is who.

No pal, most men would not overwhelmingly default to be nice guys, buying roses and giving foot massages. Most guys would chafe at that.

And this is yet another problem with the MRA loons. They believe that all dudes are secretly big old pussies like they are. The only guys who aren’t are “natural alphas” (whatever that is) or those guys who pretend to be jerks just so chicks will dig them.

Let me tell you, the only time I was a “nice guy” was when I was about 8, to a cute blonde girl named Nikki. And that wasn’t because I was naturally sweet, it’s because I thought that’s what girls wanted. Well, even at that young age it rapidly became clear that was a losing strategy, so I abandoned it and went back to yanking on her pigtails until she cried. Watch any group of boys and that is their natural state. Not writing fucking sonnets like Tomassi did as a child.

“Men are simply never rewarded for displays of these higher-self aspirations with genuine appreciation of women.”

No pal, men want to get pussy, drink beer, and enjoy their hobbies. Very few are pansy enough to preoccupy themselves with “genuine appreciation of women” unless they’re appreciating some perfect, natural tits. Those are worthy of genuine appreciation.

“Most guys would like nothing better than to honestly play the loving, white knight, romantic who women bemoan a lack of in the world.”

Sorry pal, you’re wrong. Only a small minority of men are that lame. And those who are, like the MRA tools, are rightfully excluded from the mating market.

MRAs, PUAhaters, MGTOWs, and other red-pill failures

There a several types of men in the world.

The first are the “blue pill” men. They haven’t swallowed the “red pill” and still are caught in the lies and traps of society. We won’t discuss them here.

Then there are those men who have swallowed the “red pill.” PUAs are those who have successfully swallowed it. MRA guys, PUAhaters and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) are those who have unsuccessfully swallowed it.

PUAs (Pick Up Artists). These are the guys who have realized what they had to realize about women and are busy trying to exploit that knowledge for their own benefit, as they should.

They have varying success rates but the key part of being a PUA is a total lack of bitterness about their new red-pill knowledge. They understand that it is their job to change, not reality’s job. Because reality won’t change. They understand this at a fundamental psychological level.

MRAs (Men’s Rights) guys. They have unsuccessfully swallowed the red pill, and have developed a hatred toward women.

Though they’ll pretend they don’t; they’ll suggest that certain types of women are great. Women from the past, women from far-off lands, traditional women who no longer exist, etc. etc. Of course the women they meet on a daily basis — that is, 100% of the women in their world — are awful. But they don’t hate women. They just hate every woman currently alive within a 2000 mile radius ;)

And oh how they blog about that hate. Their red-pill knowledge shines through with their excellent insights into women’s minds; but they fail to understand that women are human just as they are. It is their downfall. When their negative emotions well up too far, they kill women.

PUAhate guys. They guys frequent the (currently offline) web site They too have unsuccessfully swallowed the red pill, but they have developed a hatred toward other men.

This hate becomes a negative obsession with men, just as MRAs develop a negative obsession with women. PUAhaters will critique the physicality, status, and finances of other men to the tiniest detail, finding everyone but the top 0.01% lacking.

Of course, to them, only the richest and most attractive men are beloved by women. If you’re not a male model (and none of them are), then no woman will want to sleep with you.

Their red-pill knowledge shines through in their insight into other men — what makes men attractive at a surface-level. But their bitterness precludes them from understanding that there are facets beyond the surface that also make men attractive.

When these men blow up, they kill mostly other men. 4 of the 6 of Elliot Rodger’s victims were dudes. The two women were something of an afterthought.

MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way). This is a relatively new “club” with a small population but it appears to be an attempt to get away from the bitterness of the prior two camps and allow men to simply disengage from the mating market.

While this is probably an admirable alternative to wallowing in bitterness for those who have unsuccessfully swallowed the red pill, the group doesn’t actually live up to its name.

Its web site still seems to have a great deal of bitterness toward women. So I’d suggest that this group is merely an even more stunted version of the MRA group.

For in reality, men who’ve truly “gone their own way” no longer obsess over women. They certainly don’t sit around blogging about them. They’re off fishing in Alaska or designing sports cars or playing video games or whatever. They have truly forgotten about the mating market.

Conclusion. It is interesting that some men simply can’t handle the red-pill truth. MRAs, PUAhaters, MGTOW and likely countless others have not been able to assimilate the knowledge into their lives in a healthy way.

All have one major symptom: bitterness. Which is why, long ago, I suggested in another post not to take advice from bitter men. Why? Because they have lost. They have not been successful, they are not the winners. It’s perilous to take advice from failures, especially mating market failures.

Polyamory must sever itself from Kink to become mainstream

I consider myself to be polyamorous. I would like to see polyamory become mainstream in my lifetime. I would even like to see some sort of poly marriage to become available in my lifetime.

A half-century ago, interracial marriage became acceptable.

As I write this, gay marriage is becoming acceptable.

I would like to see polygamy become acceptable. Not just a relic from 19th century Utah. And I think it’s getting close. Because people can understand what it’s like to care for — even love — more than one person at once. It’s a familiar condition of human existence.

Unfortunately, right now the “poly community” is grossly intertwined with the “kink community” and other oddities like the transgendered community, pan-sexual communities, nudists, swingers, tantric practitioners, etc.

These other groups will not become mainstream in the near future. They are too strange for the western bourgeois middle-class to deal with any time soon.  They will linger in the shadows of society, populated by a small coterie of adherents, for many years.

Polyamory, by its nature, works best when there are lots of people who practice it.  Therefore, mainstream acceptability is required.  And it is achievable.  But if polyamory wants to achieve some sort of mainstream acceptability, like the gay community has, it will have to — for lack of a better way of putting it — shed the weirdos.

Polyamory will have to consciously kick out the BDSM crowd, the transvestites, the golden shower aficionados, the fetishists… and all those people who will wallow as second-class citizens for the foreseeable future.

It’s like, when you move out of the ghetto, you really have to boot your ghetto friends out of your life or they’ll drag you back down. Polite society won’t have them.  Same with poly. Poly is, I believe, a decade or two from mainstream acceptability if the poly community plays its cards right. And that means severing all ties with the kinksters and moving into the respectable mainstream where poly belongs and where it will flourish.