Polyamory must sever itself from Kink to become mainstream

I consider myself to be polyamorous. I would like to see polyamory become mainstream in my lifetime. I would even like to see some sort of poly marriage to become available in my lifetime.

A half-century ago, interracial marriage became acceptable.

As I write this, gay marriage is becoming acceptable.

I would like to see polygamy become acceptable. Not just a relic from 19th century Utah. And I think it’s getting close. Because people can understand what it’s like to care for — even love — more than one person at once. It’s a familiar condition of human existence.

Unfortunately, right now the “poly community” is grossly intertwined with the “kink community” and other oddities like the transgendered community, pan-sexual communities, nudists, swingers, tantric practitioners, etc.

These other groups will not become mainstream in the near future. They are too strange for the western bourgeois middle-class to deal with any time soon.  They will linger in the shadows of society, populated by a small coterie of adherents, for many years.

Polyamory, by its nature, works best when there are lots of people who practice it.  Therefore, mainstream acceptability is required.  And it is achievable.  But if polyamory wants to achieve some sort of mainstream acceptability, like the gay community has, it will have to — for lack of a better way of putting it — shed the weirdos.

Polyamory will have to consciously kick out the BDSM crowd, the transvestites, the golden shower aficionados, the fetishists… and all those people who will wallow as second-class citizens for the foreseeable future.

It’s like, when you move out of the ghetto, you really have to boot your ghetto friends out of your life or they’ll drag you back down. Polite society won’t have them.  Same with poly. Poly is, I believe, a decade or two from mainstream acceptability if the poly community plays its cards right. And that means severing all ties with the kinksters and moving into the respectable mainstream where poly belongs and where it will flourish.

 

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