Monogamous men, in a nutshell

As I said to a girl recently who was trying to convince me that monogamy was good for men:

“The men who benefit from monogamy are generally not the kind of men you want to fuck.”

I don’t think much more need be said.


The Manosphere’s Weird Relationship with Porn

Another strange thing I’ve noticed about manosphere bloggers is that, on one hand, they recognize that pornography tends to lower women’s value on the sexual marketplace but, on the other hand, they advise men to avoid it.

If I can sit home and rub one (or more) out to a super-hot, sexy 18-year-old, why in the world would I hunt around and deal with a bunch of bullshit and spend money just to maybe fuck some flabby, cuntish, 35-year-old? Chances are, I won’t.

Therefore, because of porn, if older and less-attractive women want men in their lives at all, they’re going to have to give rather than take. And, from looking around, they seem to have started. Banging a cougar or a girl who’s a little chubby is about as easy as it gets these days. And if you’re not a complete tool-bag, they’ll pay for drinks too.

But rather than celebrate and try to protect the power that porn gives men, the vast majority of manosphere blogs and articles denigrate it instead, urging men to stay away from it. Do a simple Google search for manosphere porn and 90% of the links you’ll find will be to articles telling young men that they should “stop fapping” to porn.

Why? I’m not sure. I really don’t understand. Since most men only put up with womens’ bullshit because they want sex, doesn’t an excellent facsimile of sex which doesn’t require putting up with bullshit actually work in a man’s favor? I would think so.

Imagine if someone created a 3-D printer that printed basic working cars. Automobiles that drove and were street-legal and safe. For free. Nothing fancy, but they got you safely from one point to another. What do you think that would do to the price of Porsches? Probably nothing, they’d stay a status symbol at more or less the same price-point. But what do you think it would do to the price of Hondas? They’d go out of fucking business.

Why? Because there is price-inflexibility for the stuff that’s highly desired. It’s a status symbol, it’s (often) high quality, and it’s desired no matter what it costs vis-a-vis comparable items. However, for stuff that’s only somewhat desired — stuff that’s purchased because it’s cheap or easy to obtain — there is tremendous flexibility.

Porn has the same effect on the mating market. It has essentially no impact on the hottest women. But it dramatically reduces the bargaining power of mid-level women. And, for low-level, barely desired women, it essentially prices them out of the market completely. The most they can hope for is a pump-and-dump.

So how does it hurt men? It doesn’t. Say you sit at home and rub a few out to the hottest new porn-star rather than taking chubby old Gertrude out for dinner. What have you lost? Nothing at all. You’ve gained, in fact. What have you gained?

– Time to pursue work and/or other interests
– Money
– Safety (no DUIs, car wrecks, crime, STDs, etc)
– Perspective

I think you can figure out the first three, but what do I mean by perspective? Well, think about how you feel when you’ve rubbed a couple out. Relaxed, non-horny, more clear. Now, clarity doesn’t always feel good. If clarity makes you realize that your life is kind of empty, then that sucks but it’s also great. It has clued you in that your horniness has been filling your life with false “purpose” which is based on testosterone rather than rationality.

This perspective also applies to how you view women. Are you really that interested in going to all the trouble of taking Gertrude out for drinks or dinner tonight? Is she really worth the time, effort, money, etc.? After a couple of good orgasms, you can make this determination with clarity rather than through the irrational focus that your unchecked libido gives you.

Manosphere types will say, “Well, guys should be going after the hotties, not the Gertrudes of the world.” And that’s fine, but the large majority of men, no matter how awesome their “game” is, simply aren’t going to be dating 8s, 9s and 10s. Sorry, there just aren’t that many to go around.

A large percentage of men, no matter how hard they try, are going to be stuck in the middle- and low-end of the mating market. Everyone can’t be above-average.

But marrying, or even seriously dating, some bitch just because she sometimes offers you a way to get off, is an irrational action. Why do you think most, if not all, historical societies forbade pre-marital sex and made the bonds of marriage irrevocable? To trap men.

A complete inability to divorce a woman is not a contract that I would advise any man to enter into for any reason. But, by forbidding men from quenching their strong sexual desires without that lifelong, legally enforceable commitment, it causes them to become irrational and enter into a situation they wouldn’t rationally consider.

Fortunately, society has moved away from that social construct, and porn helps men make rational decisions as well. So for those who advise young men not to get married (as I do), your anti-porn stance runs directly contrary to that admonition.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for going out to socialize and occasionally bang chicks. I’m not saying stay inside like some recluse all the time. There’s a balance to everything. If you think that porn is somehow destroying your life, then by all means curtail your use. But porn itself is not necessarily bad, just like alcohol isn’t necessarily bad just because some people have a problem with it.

Again, I don’t understand the manophere’s stance on this topic. Porn benefits men by making “sex” (or a fairly good facsimile of it) free and easy. And each year that passes, porn becomes more and more realistic. As of this writing they have 60 fps, “4K” resolution porn that, when viewed on a large monitor, looks like the girl is right there on top of you.

When men know, at a moment’s notice, they can head home and rub one out with nearly the same satisfaction as actual sex, they’re more likely to walk away from bitches who treat them badly or demand to be pedestalized. Especially low-level chicks who really don’t have that much to offer other than a warm hole for the night.

In fact, thinking about it, porn benefits those low-level women too. Instead of yet another pump-and-dump from a guy who’s just horny enough to buy you dinner and tell you what you want to hear to get in your pants, you can stay home and save yourself the trouble and heartache. The guy won’t bullshit you and string you along but will simply leave if he’s “just not that into you.” He’ll go home to his porn and you can get home early and watch a Lifetime Movie of the Week rather than suffering through some mediocre sex and spending the next several days wondering if the guy is going to call you back.

So porn’s a win-win, in my opinion. I don’t think I’ll be able to convince ugly chicks it’s a win for them, but it’s clearly a win for men. To put it simply, it gives men options. Therefore, the manosphere should guard mens’ access to porn at every turn. Because women know the score and, if given the ability, will have it banned as soon as they can to maintain their historical monopolistic hold over men’s sexual access.

The Manosphere Killed PUA

It’s been years and I still can’t draw my attention away from the nutty manosphere. I’ve written articles here, comments elsewhere, posts on discussion forums, questions wherever I could.

I enjoy making fun of manosphere and MRM slash MRA guys partly because I simply don’t understand them. I’ll admit it. I simply don’t understand where all that emotion comes from.

Sure, there are issues that need to be tweaked in society — any society, including ours. And if you get screwed by the system I could see how you’d be bitter. In that case, I’d recommend seeing a professional therapist. For reals.

But it seems that most manosphere guys have never been cheated on, taken to the cleaners in a divorce, been falsely accused of rape, lost a job to some sort of feminist affirmative action, or anything like that.

I just don’t get the bitterness against the system and against women. And lately, it seems, the manosphere has fully embraced the white nationalist segment of its population and become quite racist too. HBD, indeed. I’m a guy who not only read “The Bell Curve” — yes, the entire thing — but also read an entire critique of it. And a critique of the critique. I know all the theories, and most are bunk or at least highly distorted.

So is the manosphere just Conservatism applied to male-female relations? Maybe. I’m not sure. But it seems that the vast majority of manosphere bloggers are White, Christian, American or British, and young. Very young men.

I saw a poll showing that something like 80% of the manosphere was age 17-20!? Others said that there was a problem with the poll but, if it’s true, then the manosphere is made up by a bunch of boys who aren’t even old enough to drink alcohol or rent a car (probably a good thing).

Which brings me to PUA. (Or “pickup” as we used to call it back in the ’90s, or “the seduction community” when it was on As I’ve said before, a PUA was a guy who was really good at PU. PUA was not a thing.)

Anyway, as I’ve also said before, back in the day, “PUA” was about seducing chicks. That’s it. A kid found out about it when his girlfriend dumped him and he wanted to see what went wrong and started searching around the primitve ‘net for it. In “Speed Seduction,” Ross Jeffries used to teach about “eliciting values” from each woman you meet so you could tailor your seduction technique to that particular woman. While there were some general concepts that could be applied to most women, the idea was that everybody is different and had to be treated as such if you wanted to be successful.

These days, when a young kid is dumped by his girlfriend and makes the same internet search that I did back in 1996, he’s not greeted with “seduction techniques” to help him improve his love-life so much as he’s inundated with a massive wave of political diatribes condemning everything from feminism to multiculturalism to socialism and everything in between. Instead of being taught how to address his individual problem, he’s recruited into a swirling morass of radicalized and highly politicized propaganda against, basically, the current state of Western culture itself.

I imagine it’s something along the lines of what happens to young Muslim men. They might have some innocuous question about, say, the hair color of the virgins awaiting them in heaven or something. So they do an internet search and their question immediately leads them to radical Islamic propaganda which — if they breathe too much in — will gradually convert them into vicious tools of that propaganda.

Maybe that’s why the manosphere is so confusing and fascinating to me. Back in the day when I wanted to read about picking up chicks, I didn’t have to wade through a bunch of KKK and pro-rape commentary to do it.

But maybe it’s the new normal. And if that’s the case, then PUA is dead. Because if young men don’t want to change themselves but instead want to sit around writing articles about taking society back to the 19th century when women couldn’t vote… well.. those guys aren’t going to be out in the bars and clubs mackin’ on too many broads.

Shitty love life –> internet search –> seduction techniques –> meet women –> sex

Shitty love life –> internet search –> MRA propaganda –> write angry blog posts –> ???

Which is not to say that the manosphere doesn’t bring up some good points. For example, the concept of women “hitting the wall” when they reach a certain age. This is true. Although it’s a more gradual decline than a wall. Radical feminists might not want people to believe it, but men are 90% interested in women because of their looks. Sorry, it’s true.

But the enthusiasm and thinly veiled shadenfreude with which the manosphere presents the concept is clearly backed by hatred and viciousness. It’s one thing to say, “Guys, understand that a woman’s looks will usually fade fast.” It’s another thing to write post after post after post about it. We’re not stupid, we got it the first time.

I guess you could say that the manosphere has a collective case of Borderline Personality Disorder (DSM-V be damned). “I hate you, don’t leave me,” the manosphere says to women. “You’re evil, why don’t you like me?”

To carry the analogy further, manosphere bloggers involve themselves in “splitting,” or black-and-white thinking. All women supposedly want the same things and have the same urges. They all lose their looks at precisely the same age. They’re all the same level of emotional and irrational. The opposite of men, of course, who are also all the same as each other. Or at least we should be but for the fact that we’ve all been “feminized.” Etc.

I’ve learned in my lifetime that people who make broad-brush statements about a topic usually have very little experience with the topic of which they speak.

So instead of being presented with stuff like Speed Seduction and even to a lesser extent Mystery Method and RSD — which address individual issues and teach young men to at least kinda see each woman as a unique person worthy of some basic human respect — modern internet “dating advice” instead presents guys with radical, all-or-nothing thinking that demonizes women, blacks, gays, liberals, “sluts,” and most of the entirety of the contemporary Western world.

And the solution that the manosphere apparently proposes for society’s ills is of course utterly impossible: a return to “the patriarchy” of centuries past. Sorry, that just ain’t gonna happen. We’re more likely to return to riding in covered wagons.

So you get a bunch of teenage boys searching for ways to avoid heartbreak and they’re shunted into a weird, dogmatic cyber-world where women and society itself are the enemy and the only solution is so untenable as to be absurd. I can’t imagine the fear and despair that goes through their minds. All I can say is that I’m glad I’m not a teenage boy anymore.

The next question I’m asking is… How did things get to this point?