The Manosphere’s Weird Relationship with Porn

Another strange thing I’ve noticed about manosphere bloggers is that, on one hand, they recognize that pornography tends to lower women’s value on the sexual marketplace but, on the other hand, they advise men to avoid it.

If I can sit home and rub one (or more) out to a super-hot, sexy 18-year-old, why in the world would I hunt around and deal with a bunch of bullshit and spend money just to maybe fuck some flabby, cuntish, 35-year-old? Chances are, I won’t.

Therefore, because of porn, if older and less-attractive women want men in their lives at all, they’re going to have to give rather than take. And, from looking around, they seem to have started. Banging a cougar or a girl who’s a little chubby is about as easy as it gets these days. And if you’re not a complete tool-bag, they’ll pay for drinks too.

But rather than celebrate and try to protect the power that porn gives men, the vast majority of manosphere blogs and articles denigrate it instead, urging men to stay away from it. Do a simple Google search for manosphere porn and 90% of the links you’ll find will be to articles telling young men that they should “stop fapping” to porn.

Why? I’m not sure. I really don’t understand. Since most men only put up with womens’ bullshit because they want sex, doesn’t an excellent facsimile of sex which doesn’t require putting up with bullshit actually work in a man’s favor? I would think so.

Imagine if someone created a 3-D printer that printed basic working cars. Automobiles that drove and were street-legal and safe. For free. Nothing fancy, but they got you safely from one point to another. What do you think that would do to the price of Porsches? Probably nothing, they’d stay a status symbol at more or less the same price-point. But what do you think it would do to the price of Hondas? They’d go out of fucking business.

Why? Because there is price-inflexibility for the stuff that’s highly desired. It’s a status symbol, it’s (often) high quality, and it’s desired no matter what it costs vis-a-vis comparable items. However, for stuff that’s only somewhat desired — stuff that’s purchased because it’s cheap or easy to obtain — there is tremendous flexibility.

Porn has the same effect on the mating market. It has essentially no impact on the hottest women. But it dramatically reduces the bargaining power of mid-level women. And, for low-level, barely desired women, it essentially prices them out of the market completely. The most they can hope for is a pump-and-dump.

So how does it hurt men? It doesn’t. Say you sit at home and rub a few out to the hottest new porn-star rather than taking chubby old Gertrude out for dinner. What have you lost? Nothing at all. You’ve gained, in fact. What have you gained?

– Time to pursue work and/or other interests
– Money
– Safety (no DUIs, car wrecks, crime, STDs, etc)
– Perspective

I think you can figure out the first three, but what do I mean by perspective? Well, think about how you feel when you’ve rubbed a couple out. Relaxed, non-horny, more clear. Now, clarity doesn’t always feel good. If clarity makes you realize that your life is kind of empty, then that sucks but it’s also great. It has clued you in that your horniness has been filling your life with false “purpose” which is based on testosterone rather than rationality.

This perspective also applies to how you view women. Are you really that interested in going to all the trouble of taking Gertrude out for drinks or dinner tonight? Is she really worth the time, effort, money, etc.? After a couple of good orgasms, you can make this determination with clarity rather than through the irrational focus that your unchecked libido gives you.

Manosphere types will say, “Well, guys should be going after the hotties, not the Gertrudes of the world.” And that’s fine, but the large majority of men, no matter how awesome their “game” is, simply aren’t going to be dating 8s, 9s and 10s. Sorry, there just aren’t that many to go around.

A large percentage of men, no matter how hard they try, are going to be stuck in the middle- and low-end of the mating market. Everyone can’t be above-average.

But marrying, or even seriously dating, some bitch just because she sometimes offers you a way to get off, is an irrational action. Why do you think most, if not all, historical societies forbade pre-marital sex and made the bonds of marriage irrevocable? To trap men.

A complete inability to divorce a woman is not a contract that I would advise any man to enter into for any reason. But, by forbidding men from quenching their strong sexual desires without that lifelong, legally enforceable commitment, it causes them to become irrational and enter into a situation they wouldn’t rationally consider.

Fortunately, society has moved away from that social construct, and porn helps men make rational decisions as well. So for those who advise young men not to get married (as I do), your anti-porn stance runs directly contrary to that admonition.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for going out to socialize and occasionally bang chicks. I’m not saying stay inside like some recluse all the time. There’s a balance to everything. If you think that porn is somehow destroying your life, then by all means curtail your use. But porn itself is not necessarily bad, just like alcohol isn’t necessarily bad just because some people have a problem with it.

Again, I don’t understand the manophere’s stance on this topic. Porn benefits men by making “sex” (or a fairly good facsimile of it) free and easy. And each year that passes, porn becomes more and more realistic. As of this writing they have 60 fps, “4K” resolution porn that, when viewed on a large monitor, looks like the girl is right there on top of you.

When men know, at a moment’s notice, they can head home and rub one out with nearly the same satisfaction as actual sex, they’re more likely to walk away from bitches who treat them badly or demand to be pedestalized. Especially low-level chicks who really don’t have that much to offer other than a warm hole for the night.

In fact, thinking about it, porn benefits those low-level women too. Instead of yet another pump-and-dump from a guy who’s just horny enough to buy you dinner and tell you what you want to hear to get in your pants, you can stay home and save yourself the trouble and heartache. The guy won’t bullshit you and string you along but will simply leave if he’s “just not that into you.” He’ll go home to his porn and you can get home early and watch a Lifetime Movie of the Week rather than suffering through some mediocre sex and spending the next several days wondering if the guy is going to call you back.

So porn’s a win-win, in my opinion. I don’t think I’ll be able to convince ugly chicks it’s a win for them, but it’s clearly a win for men. To put it simply, it gives men options. Therefore, the manosphere should guard mens’ access to porn at every turn. Because women know the score and, if given the ability, will have it banned as soon as they can to maintain their historical monopolistic hold over men’s sexual access.

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Hugo Schwyzer, a manosphere hero?

A year and a half or so after the meltdown, I don’t see why the manosphere still hates Hugo Schwyzer so much.

The guy talked his way into the inner Feminist sanctum, used his influence there to bang a whole lot of (probably young) chicks, and then, like Samson, pushed over the pillars supporting the structure, bringing it down and wiping himself out in the process.

The man should be thanked.  Nobody took what he wrote about Feminism seriously anyway.  His stuff was too perfect and too obvious — too much like something someone would write while asking himself, “What can I say to make them think I’m one of them?”  Nobody who has ears to hear could have thought he was the real deal.  Except those who were crushed in the collapsing temple, I guess.

Polyamory must sever itself from Kink to become mainstream

I consider myself to be polyamorous. I would like to see polyamory become mainstream in my lifetime. I would even like to see some sort of poly marriage to become available in my lifetime.

A half-century ago, interracial marriage became acceptable.

As I write this, gay marriage is becoming acceptable.

I would like to see polygamy become acceptable. Not just a relic from 19th century Utah. And I think it’s getting close. Because people can understand what it’s like to care for — even love — more than one person at once. It’s a familiar condition of human existence.

Unfortunately, right now the “poly community” is grossly intertwined with the “kink community” and other oddities like the transgendered community, pan-sexual communities, nudists, swingers, tantric practitioners, etc.

These other groups will not become mainstream in the near future. They are too strange for the western bourgeois middle-class to deal with any time soon.  They will linger in the shadows of society, populated by a small coterie of adherents, for many years.

Polyamory, by its nature, works best when there are lots of people who practice it.  Therefore, mainstream acceptability is required.  And it is achievable.  But if polyamory wants to achieve some sort of mainstream acceptability, like the gay community has, it will have to — for lack of a better way of putting it — shed the weirdos.

Polyamory will have to consciously kick out the BDSM crowd, the transvestites, the golden shower aficionados, the fetishists… and all those people who will wallow as second-class citizens for the foreseeable future.

It’s like, when you move out of the ghetto, you really have to boot your ghetto friends out of your life or they’ll drag you back down. Polite society won’t have them.  Same with poly. Poly is, I believe, a decade or two from mainstream acceptability if the poly community plays its cards right. And that means severing all ties with the kinksters and moving into the respectable mainstream where poly belongs and where it will flourish.

 

OKCupid’s “Crazy Blind Date” is as misguided as Windows 8

I’ve been doing online dating regularly since 2002.  And I even dabbled with it somewhat back in ’99 and ’00 when Yahoo Personals was still free.  I’ve sent thousands of emails and perused tens of thousands of profiles on pretty much every online dating site that’s popped up and faded away over the years.  And I’ve dated and banged dozens of chicks from those sites in that time.

That’s why it pains me to see that OKCupid.com has rolled out a harebrained idea called “Crazy Blind Date.”  Actually, it thrills me because I delight in Schadenfreude.  Speaking of Schadenfreude, have you tried Windows 8?  OKCupid’s shitty new dating idea reminds me a lot of it.

Just as Windows 8 attempts to “simplify” your user experience by taking away choices, so does Crazy Blind Date.  Want to set up an ad hoc wireless network in Windows 8?  Tough shit!  Want to see the person you’ll waste your Saturday night with on OKCupid?  Double tough shit!

Let’s look at why CBD sucks:

1)  Most people who do online dating are fat and/or ugly.  Sorry, had to be said.  I’ve spent untold man-hours “hiding” thousands of OKC users I would never, under any circumstances, stick my dick into.  Hot girls know they’re hot and put as many pics of themselves up as possible.  Only the fuglies don’t have pics.  Now they expect me to go out with someone who has a 95% chance of being one of these unfuckable broads?  Hell no.

2) Men usually pay for dates.  Despite the advances of feminism, which I truly love, men are still usually expected to pay for a first night out.  So now I’m paying for a date with some unknown she-beast who will cause my cock to shrivel once I get a good view of her?  Yeah… no.

3) The name is terrible.  “Crazy Blind Date.”  Crazy?  Really?  “Crazy” and “Blind Date” are not words I want anywhere near each other.   That’s like “Crazy Ex-Wife,” “Crazy Driver,” or “Crazy Mother-in-Law.”  These are bad terms to put together.  When I think of a “crazy” blind date I think of someone who kidnaps me, throws me in the trunk of a car, then leaves me blindfolded in a dumpster behind Jack in the Box after rifling through my wallet and pissing on my head.  This is not the kind of date I’m looking for.

4) The idea of Crazy Blind Date is that people will go out on some lukewarm pisser of a coffee date or something every single day of the week (read the press releases and interviews.)  I don’t know about you, but I simply don’t have the time or interest to do this.  I want to meet chicks who are attractive and fuckable and who want to screw me too, and if it turns into something more… great.  I’m certainly not going to spend my precious time going out with women for an endless string of boring first-dates, one after another after another.

5) This is purely a money-making ploy for OKCupid.  Much like Windows 8 — which is an attempt to move sheep consumers into a paradigm where they have to buy everything through an Apple-like “Windows Store” — Crazy Blind Date is not OKC’s attempt to solve any perceived need within the online dating community.  It’s simply an attempt to generate new revenue.

See, once you’ve gone out on your boring date with your new 300lb friend, you’re then expected to give OKC some of your money to rate the person or whatever.  I’m not really sure how it works and I really don’t give a shit.  But it’s clear that they’re promoting this scheme so hard that the owners of the company must need new Jaguars or something.

6) I want more choices, not fewer.  Just as Microsoft has finally, officially jumped the shark by releasing an operating system that simplifies stuff so much that most of the screen is filled with absolutely nothing, OKC seems to think that people encounter “too much information” online.   Therefore, just eliminate choices!  Who needs to see what the other person looks like or what they have to say on their profile?  That stuff shouldn’t be important to you anyway.  You’re just a lowly sheep consumer, so shut the fuck up and take what we give you.  We want more money and your ass is lucky to have anything at all, and don’t you forget it.

Honestly, the beauty of internet dating is that you can kind of figure out what the other person is like before you even meet.  You can eliminate tons and tons of people without wasting more time than the 5-15 seconds it takes to read their profile and look at their pics.  That is the one and pretty much only positive side to online dating.  Why would you want to remove that?  Makes no sense.

Note to technology companies: I’m not an idiot, there is not “too much information” or “too many choices” out there.  Sifting through a shit-ton of data every day is what it means to live in the 21st century.  If you are unable or unwilling to do so, join the Amish.  Give me more options, not fewer!

Just as Windows 8 is Microsoft’s cynical attempt to push its Windows Phone, its Windows Tablet, and its Windows Store rather than deliver a useful and cutting-edge operating system, OKCupid’s “Crazy Blind Date” is more of an attempt to generate another revenue stream for the company than actually enhance the dating experience.

Which is sad because it’s not like “free” online dating sites are lacking in money-making potential.  They generate huge amounts of revenue for their owners without having to push anything other than ads.  And the OKC matching system is one that actually works because it gives — what’s that? — choices!  You can answer 1000 matching questions or zero.  The more effort you put into it, the better your matches will be.  Why would they come up with something that throws all that away?  No idea.

The funniest part to me was the day OKC scrambled everyone’s online dating photos to promote their new shitty service.  It was supposed to last the whole day, but only lasted a couple of hours before they restored everyone’s photos.  I have a feeling that the backlash or user dropoff was so great that they had to nix that idea.

Nobody but the worst kind of bored attention-whores would want to go out with people they can’t see or know anything about before the date, and then pay to “rate” them afterward.  Do you really think you’ll have a shot with a girl who’s been out with 5 guys in 5 days and is pushing each of them to “rate” her highly so that she can go on even more dates?  If so, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

So just as Windows 8 was a huge clusterfuck of a mistake based upon the concept that “users are idiots,” Crazy Blind Date takes that philosophy to the online dating world and turns out to be a huge turd of a product as well.  I predict it will be scrubbed from the site within 6 months, and frankly it was probably designed to only last that long.  But both products, the new Windows and OKC’s new dating paradigm, will do what they’re supposed to do in the meantime: generate lots of $$$ for their creators until the public takes a deep breath and realizes that they simply suck.

Taking choices away from people is never a good long-term strategy.

The “3-Date Rule” is for Betas

Heartiste’s blog talks about the 3-Date vs the “4-Date” Rule here: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/the-4-date-misrule

Misses the point, of course.  If you’re still waiting 3 dates for sex, you’re a chump and a beta.  Here’s the response I wrote before re-realizing that for some reason I’ve been banned from posting comments on Heartiste’s blog.  Thankfully I copied and pasted it into Notebook before submitting the comment.

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I don’t wait more than one date.  I screen heavily before then and if she doesn’t put out on date one I’ve got a half dozen more chicks waiting in the wings.  I haven’t broken this rule in a couple of years now, except for 2 chicks I dumped after date one for not putting out and they emailed me a couple of weeks later with an invitation to come over and nail them, which I did.

Not to say this always works — I’ve missed lays with cute girls that would have happened on subsequent dates — but my confidence shoots sky-high when I can dump a chick after one date, knowing I’ve got plenty of others to choose from.  Imagine the mental fortitude required to dump an 8 who’s into you but won’t put out on the first date.

HB8: “I really like you but I’m not the kind of girl who sleeps with guys on the first date.  Next time though… (wink wink).

YOU: “Sorry toots, it was now or never.  Bye bye.”

It’s a trip, and I firmly believe it makes you more attractive to women.  How many guys have the nuts to dump a good looking girl who wants to screw them but wants to do it next time rather than this time?  How many?  What kind of guy would do that?  What kind of options must he have?

There is no substitute for plenitude.  None.

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If you read my last post you’ll realize I haven’t followed up and posted my prediction that came true.  I will, I’m just doing other stuff right now.

Reposting some of my stuff from Sosuave

So I’m pretty done with Sosuave.com.  It’s the only “seduction” forum I’ve been a part of in years and it’s gotten quite awful, as they all tend to.   There are essentially two or three types of posters.  The first are old misogynist trolls who post several new threads a day along the lines of “Are all women stupid whores?”   The second are young noobs who post questions that have been answered a billion times.  The following topics make my skin crawl:

1) There’s this one girl at school…

2) There’s this one girl at work…

3) There’s this one girl at the coffee shop…

Then of course there are teenagers who write up long posts attempting to “educate” the world with their vast knowledge of women but which just rehash 1000 bromides.  Those might be the silliest.

The problem with the internet is that everyone has a voice, even those who don’t deserve one.  I guess the worst part for me is that I’ll take time to post an interesting topic, or answer a question thoughtfully, and my post will either be misconstrued, attacked, trolled, or completely ignored.  I feel like I’m casting pearls before swine and I’m just bored with the lack of quality thought there.

The upshot of all this is that over the next few weeks & months I’ll be looking back through my old posts there, fishing out anything I think might be interesting, and posting it here.  If I feel it needs commentary I will provide it.  Obviously there won’t be any discussion by others of it here, but by the time I post something online I’ve thought about it in so much depth that I don’t really believe any discussion is necessary.  And furthermore, I’ve seen comments on internet blogs.  They’re uniformly awful, perhaps worse than in forums.  Which is why they’re not allowed here.

So this way I can at least have a record of the stuff I’ve posted over the past two years, and I might come to some insights about my own thoughts and behaviors in that time period.

I’d like to take my ideas and use them to springboard into advanced topics, but the inability of most folks to understand and process new ideas has heretofore prevented that.  If there are any insights to be provided, looks like I’ll have to provide them myself.

In my next post I’ll talk about one insight that I already provided years ago, and which was only recently scientifically proven.

Why has the Seduction Community been overrun by the Men’s Rights Movement?

Back when I got interested in seduction, I was 20 years old and going through a breakup with a girlfriend, and wanted to learn how to get laid by more chicks.  At least I think that was the reason.  It could be I just stumbled upon Ross Jeffries’ “Get Laid” Newsletters on the primitive mid-90s Internet and thought they were funny and interesting.

That was almost a half a lifetime ago.  The purpose was to bang chicks easily.  I read and read and wrote and wrote about “game” and “seduction” on all sorts of internet forums.  At no time were politics or discussions about society included, other than what was necessary to understand seduction techniques.

Then something changed.  I guess I’m a slow learner, because only recently has it become clear to me that somehow the Men’s Rights Movement (which I have very little interest in or knowledge about) has co-opted the Seduction Community.

No longer is seducing broads and banging chicks about personal pleasure and fun, now it’s some sort of grand statement about mankind as a whole.  Specifically, it seems, we are using “game” not to just get a chick’s clothes off, but to completely subjugate the entire female gender.

This comes as news to me.  I guess I’m years behind the curve.

Roosh V’s blog says:

The term “manosphere” is generally applied to any game or men’s right blog that goes against mainstream thinking of pedestalizing women at the expense of men.

[…] I have found an article that effortlessly ties in all our beliefs. It makes it clear what we stand for while offering one devastating argument after another against feminist thinking.

From http://www.rooshv.com/the-manosphere-for-dummies

Umm.. ok.  I didn’t know that my attempts to get laid without jumping through hoops and spending a shit-ton of cash had such political and sociological ramifications.  And frankly I don’t really care.

“Roosh” goes on, quoting a manosphere site…

‘Beta males who were told to follow a responsible, productive life of conformity found that they were swindled.’

The author describes the climate that gave rise to game and guys like me, even though he gets a bit moral about its application. By teaching you game, I hope that you will avoid a fate that befall many men in America.

Wow ok.   What “gave rise” to guys like me was the desire to fuck lots of chicks.  That’s it.

Well, perhaps I’ve been running game for so long that I simply don’t identify with “beta males” the world over.  As stated before in this blog I have no desire to get married, no desire to have kids, no desire to own a home, and little desire to interact meaningfully with society other than making enough money to allow me to live and bang chicks.  And play some tennis too, I love that shit.  Super fun and great exercise.

All this hand-wringing seems rather unenlightened to me.  Yeah, now’s a bad time to get married and have kids.  For many reasons, not just because of “feminism.”  But who really wants to do that anyway?  Do men really still desire a wife and a family?  I haven’t desired any of that … ever.

Furthermore, in reading “manosphere” blogs they all seem to be written by right-wingers.  I’m a liberal (bordering on libertarian) white-collar atheist living in a huge metropolis on the West coast.   Not exactly a recipe for conservatism.  Traditional and, especially, religious values have absolutely zero influence on my life.  So no, I’m not going to agree that we should go back to an age where women were barefoot and pregnant.  Traditional gender roles suck, because they impose too many restrictions … ON ME.   I don’t want to be a breadwinner, I don’t want to be a husband, I don’t want to be a father.  And I don’t want to have to pretend to want those things just to get pussy.

Personally, I’d love the feminist movement to become even more radicalized.  I’d love it if women slaved away at jobs and my role was simply to look good and fuck great.  I’d love that.  Are you kidding me?  That would be my dream come true.  Women hitting on me, chasing me, buying me drinks, driving me around, and having sex with me without any desire for marriage or children or commitment.  That’s my heaven.  I’m a pimp at heart baby.

Here’s the first sentence from the article that Roosh links to above:

Why does it seem that American society is in decline…

From http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html

It doesn’t, numbnuts!  I banged 12 different chicks in the past 12 months.  American society is looking pretty damn good to me.

Then it occurred to me: Fascism has co-opted seduction!  There’s no other term for it.  Gender fascism.

Basically fascism goes like this: “There is a problem with this world, and it’s caused by _________________.”

Fill in the blank with your “ism” of choice.  Feminism, communism, judaism, multiculturalism … whatever.  The first thing you need to do is convince people there’s a problem.  Then you lay the blame.  Then you fire up the ovens.

But then I started thinking.  Maybe I’m the face of the manosphere itself.  Maybe I look down on it because it seems unevolved to me.  I don’t identify with “beta” males and can’t remember a time when I ever did.  Yes, I was kind of geeky and not very good with women as a teen and I didn’t have that many girls even into my 20s, but I never saw myself as a “victim.”  I always figured I could do better at seduction.  Maybe I “swallowed the red pill” so early in life, and have been living that way so long (17 or so years), that I no longer feel oppressed by anything or anyone.  Maybe I think men’s rights are lame because I’ve already progressed far past them!

Beta males who were told to follow a responsible, productive life of conformity found that they were swindled.

I don’t remember ever being told to follow a responsible, productive life of conformity.   And if I ever was, I don’t remember ever obeying or even caring what other people told me to do.  And I’ve never felt swindled by women, society, or anyone.

Rather, I feel like this is a perfect time for guys like me.  I feel like it’s a time when single men are more free than any other time in human history.  I can bang chicks without worrying about having to marry them and without wanting to start a family with them, and without having to buy them tons of shit.

I guess I just don’t understand the anger of the manosphere.  I seduce women because I like sex and I like having it with as many chicks as possible without spending too much time or money.  Period.  I don’t do it to make a political statement, I don’t do it to defeat “feminism,” and I certainly don’t do it because I feel oppressed by anyone.

I do it for fun.  Manosphere writers seem so grim.  No fun at all.

I wish I knew how the Seduction community got overrun by these knuckleheads.  Seduction is about sex and having a good time, not about “getting back” at women.  Not about belittling them or subjugating them.  The end goal is sex, not dominance.  Certainly not revenge.

Anyway I find it strange.  I was hoping to come to some sort of conclusion here but I guess I can’t.  Maybe I was steeped in Seduction before it became a political statement and therefore the manosphere makes no sense to me.  Maybe I’m just successful at seduction whereas these guys aren’t, and so they’re bitter and I’m not.  Maybe I just avoided the pitfalls that they didn’t and so I can’t feel their pain.  Maybe alphas can never understand what it’s like to be a beta. 😉

I just don’t know.  I hope I never understand them, because quite honestly they seem like real downers.